The nicest feeling in the world was the moment when I walked into the house. The feeling of coming back to where I left and having made it through really made me feel like a survivor. I felt like I just put everything behind me and I’m stepping into a place I once knew and loved in a stronger, and happier personality.
It is nice seeing family and friends after so long (3 months is long!) and catching up. I find myself talking and talking and talking, sharing my experience and laughing about it 🙂 I feel proud and happy. The only thing missing is my husband being with me. This journey has for sure changed me in so many different ways. I am more patient now, more appreciative, and definitely stronger! Also, I used to keep my feelings inside, I used to think of it as a mechanism to protect my feelings. Now, I feel I can just easily speak my feelings out to my husband, parents, and close friends. It just makes me feel better, and see things more clearly. It definitely makes you feel more confident, at ease and closer to people. Before I used to view tiny problems as huge ones, now I believe you can control every problem’s magnitude, if you choose to make it look small, it will be small and same goes for bigger problems. That’s what I’ve figured out so far. I still am forgetting a lot, but I am keeping track, thanks to reminders :).
Despite being given a shot to boost my white blood cells count the day after my last chemo session, I am still being cautious about not eating out and avoiding crowded places and sick people as the chemo drugs need around 2-3 weeks to be out of my system. So I’m playing it the safe way.